Down day, up feeling

I lost $67 today, but I can confidently state that it was largely a factor of luck, as PokerEV has me -$280 in all-in equity. I lost a full stack flip with QQ vs AK, and lost a stack with AcKc to 9hJh when a monkey decided to stack off on a 7dTcJc flop. I was a 60/40 favorite but missed. By way of explaining the decision to go all-in, my opponent said "I felt like gambling", which I know from experience is a coded way of saying "I am fucking retarded, tried to give away all my chips, and failed." The funny thing was he was quite literally in the best possible situation he could hope to be in with that trash hand vs the range of hands I was willing to go all-in with, and I still had 18 outs.

It's okay, though, because he later decided to stack off $125 to me when I had 33 on a board of 3s 5h Js 4s Qd. His hand? The monstrous Jd Kd, of course!

Afterwards, I felt like goading him to see if I could get him to stay, so I said:

Me: I just felt like gambling.
Him: You weren't gambling there, douchebag.
Me: Sure I was. I just chose a flop where I was a 50:1 favorite.

Unfortunately it backfired and he left. I wept.

However, today I played my newest all-time favorite poker hand ever!

Relative stacks of $100. I'm in the big blind with Ks 9s. My opponent, who I can only assume is named Jennifer Tilly, limps from MP2. It's folded to me. I check.

The flop comes Kh 9h 4h, giving me top two pair on a monotone board. I bet $2 into the $2.40 pot. My opponent calls.

The turn is the beautiful 9c, giving me nines full of kings. I think about it for about five seconds and check. I didn't think my opponent had much at this point, I figured him for some kind of decently-sized heart, and didn't want to scare him off with a bet. There isn't much that's paying me off, and I don't want to charge heart draws that are going to pay me big time if they hit anyway. Unfortunately, villain checks back.

The river is the beautiful Th, putting the four-flush on the board. I check again, figuring my way to get paid is either induce a bluff if he doesn't have a high heart, raise him for posterity and make him fold, or induce a value bet that I can check-raise and get paid off on when he calls or raises. A bet isn't likely to get me paid here.

Villain checks back. Well, crap. That didn't work. I prepare to collect the $6.20 pot and move onto the next hand when my opponent flips over Td Tc!!!!

For a moment or two I have trouble breathing. OMG. WTF just happened here? Villain rivered a bigger full house than mine and failed to bet it! Even a $1 bet from him and he takes my stack here. There's absolutely no way I'm putting him on tens full, so there's no point where I just call.

I can only figure my villain wasn't paying attention (or was retarded) and didn't realize that the board was paired. Either that or he was scared of KK, 99, or JhQh, lol.